present tense

Dear you,

It's been about seven months now, since winter. Since the thick of it. Since I plodded my way through the snow and fell to my knees, hoping, just hoping

And now she's back, Spring

And as always, things are looking up;

There's this girl

and my films

and my friends

the whole world opening up before me, on the brink of so much potential, and all I can think about is finding the pause button

to freeze the frame here and now, smiling, the world at large

before I have to follow through, 

before I can fail,

before chaos can wreak it's havoc on the shape of things

on the shape of me

I've closed the door on chaos for far too long,

keeping out all the danger and adversity

Half a decade, I didn't open that door for anyone,

not even Spring

but now

I've cracked it open, just an inch

and the light soaked days I've seen

and the light soaked days I've seen