He was in Paris, which is located in France, which is located in Europe, which is located in the Northern Hemisphere.
Needles to say, it was beautiful. So beautiful, in fact, that it felt like a dream. Come to think of it, he thought, perhaps it was. Was he about to wake up? Had he been asleep all this time? If so, who would he find when he woke up?
He wanted to die already.
He had waited years for his own death. It was just hours away now, he knew. The minute he had learned he would only be in Paris for a single November day, he knew his time had come. It was meant to be. He questioned, did death require life in the first place? Ethan had never truly been a living being. A concept, sure, but an actual human being? No, he was a facade at most. Yet, he was about to die.
While he hated to admit it, every moment was enhanced by the impending end. Each one came vignetted, light, and warm. In Paris, no one, even his own family, knew he was about to die. It was an ignorant bliss; it was just the way he wanted.
After all, he had stolen eighteen years from her. It was time to surrender.
He decided he would enjoy his final moments in a backstreet cafe. He found its name fitting.
unreal. you are incredible.
ReplyDeleteso much respect for you, Sol.
you're amazing, Sol! Thank you for being you.
ReplyDeleteSo long, Ethan Harris.
ReplyDeleteAnd good luck to Sol with this new life of hers.
You are an inspiration.
when you said, "I bought a one way ticket to Paris" I was scared you weren't coming back. glad it was just poetic and you're still here.
ReplyDeletert
DeleteI wonder, does it ever make you sad to look back on that day?
ReplyDeleteEither because it was your last day as Ethan or because it was making you sad not to be Sol?
Haha, it always made me sad that I wasn't being Sol. (Biggest struggle of my life.)
DeleteIt's kind of like graduating high school, I think. Nostalgic, but happy to be done with it. After all, I was never really Ethan in the first place, you know?
UUUHHHHHH!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI still read your blog and I think this is the most I've ever identified with a post. It's just about not being afraid to show your true self and I keep coming back to it and reading it. It just feels like you knew a big change was coming but you were ready to embrace it. I guess I'm not doing a very good job of explaining myself but just thanks for showing me it's ok to still try to find myself and that I'm not alone in feeling an impending life altering change and getting ready for it.
ReplyDelete