Friday, April 22, 2016

This is a PSA

Dear Creative Writing Two,

The blogs are dying. My blog is dying. The class is slowing down.

If nothing changes, I project the following month will go something like this:

  • CW2 will continue to procrastinate, doing little to nothing while simultaneously maintaining a mentality that we are superior to CW1, who, unlike us, is actually Getting Shit Done™, regardless of said defecation’s quality. 
  • Somewhere down the line, Nelson’s gonna get passive aggressive and do something to low-key screw up the class and get our attention. (Cancel an event, show up to class late, etc.) This is the First Act of Aggression.
  • But atlas, we will continue not to care; that is, until Nelson literally flips a table. This has been known to happen from time to time, and is the Second Act of Aggression.
  • This will cause one of two things to happen:
        - a) We will start writing again but most of it will be Hot Garbage™ because the only reason we’re doing it is because we feel bad.
        - b) We will be offended by this seemingly unprecedented act of aggression, further distancing ourselves from the class.
  • Then, although it’s been on a calendar for more than 9 months, we will be shocked into fear when we realize we only have one week of high school left, frantically writing depressed poetry intertwined with nostalgic cliches like ‘This class changed me for the better’ and a plethora of ‘I remember’ posts that everyone will remember until the day after graduation.
  • Then the last bell will ring and we will all tell each other we’ll keep in touch, which is The Greatest Lie of All Time™.

Guys, this is not a drill. 
We have 10  classes left with Nelson.

Get your Shit Together before this rocket takes off, okay? 
Come Sunday night, I expect 36 new posts and I’m going to comment on

T-minus 10,


  1. "We have 10 classes left with Nelson."

    oh no. that just hit me. time to frantically write depressed poetry

  2. Thank you, Dr. Solstice Everston, Ph.D
    But really this was the biggest wake up call.
    Thank you

  3. Think this is a wake up call to CW1 too, cause even though people are posting, the blog viewing and commenting has gone wayyyyy down..
    Time to get up and going, guys! We don't have much time left at all.

  4. this woke me up like fire sirens

  5. woke woke woke woke.

    this is truth. let's finish it out strong.


Thanks for commenting! *Awkward high five*