Monday, July 13, 2015

Spectacular Shades

I'm not sure what I hate more:
That you're gone, or that I let you go.

I would call it regret but I don't belive in such a thing. I'm settling for nostalgia and depression becasue the lines between wanting you and dialing 911 are starting to blur like it’s 10 o'clock and I'm crying behind the wheel.

Maybe it's because you and a burned out match are one in the same; still here, but forever changed. Echoes of how it used to be bounce off the insides of my skull like a laser pointer in a roomful of mirrors and I can't figure out where you're coming from anymore.

This isn’t what I expected. 

I expected more blood. I expected more sweat and more tears and more blisters. I expected the cuts to be deeper, the pain to climb through my body like an infection. I expected something spectacularly broken.

But we aren’t spectacular.

We’re unanswered text messages on the darkest of nights. We’re dead end voice mails and empty door steps. We’re ghost towns and drained swimming pools.

We're just a shade of what once was, Happiness.

4 comments:

  1. I'm settling for nostalgia and depression becasue the lines between wanting you and dialing 911 are starting to blur like it’s 10 o'clock and I'm crying behind the wheel.

    But we aren't spectacular.

    We’re unanswered text messages on the darkest of nights. We’re dead end voice mails and empty door steps.

    this post, is life. completely beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  2. i like that last part. "We're unanswered text messages on the darkest of nights. We're dead end voice mails and empty door steps. We're ghost towns and drained swimming pools." like hi, date me, please.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey so AFHS Poetry club and LP creative writing are doing a Summer Slam open mic on August 12th, at 9pm at 746 N 730 E American Fork and we would absolutely love it if you came! You can share a poem or just listen or whatever. It's going to be super cool and a lot of great poets are coming. Savanna Jones will probably get on here soon and attest that it's gonna be cool and that I'm not a crazy person since you don't know me. You are completely welcome to bring anyone with you, especially other writers! That's all, hope you can come!

    You can email me with any questions: emmaheath97@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for commenting! *Awkward high five*