Sunday, March 23, 2014


They said not to worry.
They said to let it go.
They said they wouldn't listen to our phone calls,
They said to smile even when your heart is breaking,
They said to be yourself.
They said I was going to hell.
They said I didn't make the cut.
They said I should try again next year.
They said it was all alright.
They said I was a freak.

They said it was okay.

And that's a lie. To ourselves and others, we chant it into the abyss, hoping it will make us feel whole. Hoping beyond hope that we're right, even when we know we're wrong. We say we're okay so people will give us attention when we cry, because that's all we really want to do with ourselves, when our lives are going to hell and we take a moment to stare them in the eyes and say

It's okay.

Is that what makes us great?
Or is it what tears us from our beds at night to stare at the sky and pray to God for it to be okay.

This week, my best friend refused to save me from myself, I realized I'm clinically depressed, I held my tongue because they matter more than I value myself, I got jealous of the Disney princesses, and this week I fell straight into the abyss.

It's okay.

I'm fine.


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